haven't been blogging for a few days again..

been rather tired lately.. mentally..

many things happening..

many thoughts and emotions..

sometimes i don't know what is going on anymore..

everything i have come to believe seems to be totally different from what i've expected..

sometimes i just want it all to go away..

don't want to have to feel.. don't want to have to worry.. don't want to have to think..

i just want to run away from it all..



i'm back.. got a few days worth of blogs.. so here goes..

thursday
things got bad the second half of the day.. he wanted to meet me after school to pass me something.. so i told him i could only meet him fer awhile coz i needed to go home.. as i had something else on that evening.. and i needed to go home and change and to drop my laptop.. so he got upset.. he asked if i could cancel my appointment and accompany him instead.. i told him no coz i already made arrangements.. yes.. i did owe you a movie.. but i didn't lie about not being free.. i already had plans for thursday since the week before.. but they got cancelled last minute the day before.. and i found other plans.. so don't go accusing me that i lied to you.. my world doesn't just revolve around you.. so i called him after events to ask him where he was.. we ended up argueing.. like AGAIN.. then i got so angry that i slammed my phone down and hung up on the call.. few people in the canteen were looking at me.. but i didn't care.. i was way past caring about what other people thought.. and i really felt like crying at that very moment.. i was just so so so SO angry.. but coz i was in front of my friends.. i held back my tears.. thankz to the others for worrying about me and to noorin for bringing me to co-op and tempting me to buy so many tidbits.. =p haha.. we went to the bazaar at under block 56 then i went on home.. who knew that trouble would be waiting for me under my void deck.. when i got home.. he was waiting there under my block.. i sort of expected it.. coz since the time i had slammed the phone.. i refused to pick up any of his calls.. we talked for half an hour.. i wanted to walk off halfway.. he wouldn't let me.. how i tried to walk to the stairs.. he blocked my way.. i got so fed up i just cried.. was supposed to meet yong chuen ( a.k.a lex) at 6.30 @ bishan.. but by the time i managed to get home it was already 6pm.. so i met him around 7.. went to but the tickets for the 9.05pm show.. then ate at mac.. fries were like damn salty lar.. =S slacked there til 8.45pm then walked around abit then on to the movie.. we watched fantastic 4.. it's quite nice.. very funnie.. and my idol was in it.. jessica alba..!! haha.. i think she's really pretty and hot.. =X then after the show.. i saw fiona xie with a guy and behind them were another 2 guys whom i presume were their friends..

food for the day

breakfast: nil

lunch: malay kway teow with chicken, egg & beancurd
mango from the fruit stall
toblerone

dinner: mcspicy double

supper: vanilla & strawberry ice-cream

friday
it was fmgt presentation..!! very excited.. finally got to wear formal to school.. wahahaha.. wore my white rainbow stripped top from u2 which i bought for my birthday but didn't get to wear til friday.. a black pleated skirt which was kinda short.. =X hee.. and heels.. i think the presentation went okay.. considering it was really last minute.. =) after tutorial was blaw lecture.. break.. and then ecd lecture.. which i thought was a complete WASTE OF TIME.. the lecturer kept talking to her tutorial class.. and i dun like the girls in that class.. they were so damn rude to the lecturer.. and they were really noisy.. the the lecturer talks more like she's talking to herself.. and even before the lecture started she played some useless game.. and talked about really irrelevant stuff.. from such a short lecture she dragged it for so long.. anyway.. after lecture me, gabbie, thea & hong hong took plenty of pics at that area with the blue and green walls.. then took the train back with thea.. it felt good to have someone to talk to.. so i told her about my problem with you know who..

oh yea.. during the break we had to go see mr see khay soh for the elevator pitch.. there wasn't time for lunch.. so we didn't get to eat at all.. luckily when we passed by the bazaar under block 56 there was a stall giving away free packets of milo.. so we koped one each.. =X this time i didn't go for the elevator pitch.. noorin and thea went.. coz i wasn't very confident and sure of the details.. in the end we only got 7.5 again.. sianz.. might as well dun keep re-doing.. still got back the same marks.. *diaoz*

then it was down to the airport with yc again.. it was kinda fun.. expressway the whole way.. no stops.. and wind blowing against ur face.. cold wind at that.. we to swensens fer dinner.. ordered some combo thingy.. there was fish with chicken and lamb.. and salad and raisin rice.. and it comes with a drink.. soup ( think it was pumpkin ) and ice cream..!! =X hahaha.. not bad fer $16.90.. then we took the skytrain a couple of times.. went to the viewing gallery at T1.. watched the planes and the children playing at the plaground.. then went to BK for a drink.. i had the strawberry pie..!! yum yum.. =X then home sweet home.. haha..

food for the day

breakfast: nil

lunch: a packet of milo

dinner: fish + chicken + lamb with salad & raisin rice
pumpkin soup
calamari rings
raspberry ice cream
sprite

supper: barley and strawberry pie

saturday
went down to sentosa for tanning..!! went with mel, kian, gab, ling, clemmie, hong hong xian and 2 of her friends.. can't quite recall their names.. but the taller one was not bad looking.. =X wahahaha.. we went to palawan beach.. where there were tonnes of topless dudes with nice tans and even nicer bods.. *gushes* saw a cutie outside of 7-11 when me and gabbie went to get drinks.. =X and kian brought tanning lotion..!! yay~* did manage to get darker.. but got the toopid shorts mark.. -_-" well.. at least the bikini mark is more obvious.. =X wahahahahhaa.. then we watched kian, gabbie and the cuter of xian's friends play volley ball with some other guys.. kinda exciting.. us girls were all making noise and cheering for them.. think we were abit too noisy in fact.. =X i left around 3.30pm.. rushed home to bathe.. and out for work again.. was late.. =S it was really busy.. and time passed quickly too.. which was good.. =) then i was supposed to meet him at night coz i owed him a movie from before.. might as well get it over and done with rite?

errm.. haha.. feeling kinda sleepy.. want to take a nap.. shall continue with this post later on.. =X lalalalalalalalla~* be back later.. =X