god has a plan for all of us..
i'm going on my weekend trip to kelong in like less than 12 hours time.. yay.. i'm almost all packed.. except for the stuff i can only pack tomorrow ( or should i say later ).. feeling excited.. =) but i'm dreading having to leave someone behind.. =(

i was awoken around 9+am in the morning by my handphone.. it was a msg from dear.. and it was bearing bad news.. his grandma had passed away.. i was shocked when i saw it.. and i was worried for him.. coz he seemed really sad and upset as he didn't get a chance to see her one last time.. then a part of me suddenly felt abit sad too.. though i had only met her once.. it still bring sadness to know that one has passed on.. i suddenly thought back to when my grandad passed away almost 3 years ago..

though my grandad has always lived in malaysia and i only got to see him during chinese new year or when he and grandma comes over to singapore to visit.. i was never really close to him as he speaks in only cantonese and chinese while i totally never understood canto and i sucked at chinese.. and he didn't really know english.. so i never really had much conversation with him.. i just remembered him as being cheerful, a person who loves his family very much, dotes on his grandchildren and funny..

then for a period of time he got really sick.. sick til the point that he needed to be retaught how to eat and talk.. he was just like a small kid.. throwing tantrums.. not being able to communicate what he was feeling.. had to be fed.. it was really tiring on my grandma and uncle who lives over there in malaysia.. coz my uncle had to work while my grandma is old and she herself can't move around too much and can't possibly carry my grandad around or able to give him 24/7 attention..

then one day.. he passed away.. in a way it wasn't so bad because he was finally freed from all the suffering.. it happened on the eve of chinese new year eve.. we were supposed to go over to kl the next day for the chinese new year.. so all thoughts of a happy family reunion were banished.. instead it was filled with sadness.. i remembered being awoken around 6 or 7 in the morning.. and my dad told me the news.. i felt like.. omg.. grandad's passed on.. and i never got to go over to malaysia in time to see him.. see him for one last time.. we were one day too late..

the wake lasted 3 days.. most of the time i didn't really know what was being said by the priests and the like coz the rituals were all conducted in cantonese.. i only knew to respond to my cantonese name by bowing.. it was really sad.. the aunties and us cousins were all crying.. it was especially heartbreaking to see my grandma cry.. hearing wailing to my grandad.. asking him why he had to leave her behind.. and it seemed to rain for most of the 3 days.. not light drizzle rain.. but heavy rain.. like as if the sky was crying for him.. i remember the last night of the wake.. there was the part where we had to burn the offerings for grandad.. you know.. those paper representations of things like houses, servents, cars, money etc etc.. there was a whole lot of stuff.. and the fire was really big..

the hardest part had to be the last day.. the day for the cremation.. looking at grandad one last time through the glass pane on the coffin.. and following the procession down to the cremation center.. and watching as the coffin was being carried to that conveyer belt thingy and into the incinerater.. ( or however you spell it )

life really is unpredictable.. i lost another friend.. at the tender age of 15.. we weren't exactly close.. but he was a good friend.. we'd suan each other in school and always whacked each other.. he was my best friend's boyfriend at the time.. the news of his death was a rude shock to me.. especially since it was the first time i had experinced someone i knew and was acquianted to me passing on.. i mean.. the boy is only FIFTHTEEN for god's sake.. and he was a good person.. he had a whole future ahead of him.. but i guess this kind of thing is fated right..? we never know why it happens.. why god has to take that person away..

this will sound so cliche but it's true.. we should treasure everything we have and everyone around us.. because we never know when we might just lose them..

spanish is definately NOT all that easy to learn.. it is super chim.. because some words are pronounced differently from how they are spelt.. and also different words are used when refering to males or females.. and also when you are talking from the 1st party or to a 2nd party or to the 3rd.. omg.. =S maybe i should have chosen insight to china..?? =X nah.. probably would flunk that since i wouldn't understand i work the teacher would be saying.. -_-"

after school i met dear for awhile.. coz he had finished school at 5 too and was waiting til 6 to meet up with his project group.. so we had early dinner at canteen 2.. i could see that he was still really sad.. his eyes showed it.. and i didn't really know how to make him feel better.. so i just tried to cheer him up with some stupid jokes and antics.. but i don't think i helped much either.. -_-" ( nicole.. you are such a failure.. *smacks head* ) i really wanted to give him a hug before we parted to make him feel better.. but i don't think it would be very appropriate in school.. and in the atrium at that.. don't know whether he would have wanted it either.. =

after that i headed over to town coz i needed to get some things.. the bus ride to town was damn long.. and i was feeling bored coz i didn't have anything to do or read or anyone to sms.. i went to far east first.. and surprisingly.. i didn't have any mood for shopping.. must have been the stupid rain.. and maybe coz i was worrying about him.. so i walked around aimlessly.. nothing seemed to catch my eye.. got 2 sets of the bikini top paddings that i needed.. coz my old ones were all out of shape and crumpled.. =X then i walked over to wisma and then to taka.. headed to levis to check out the ladies and engineered jeans.. and i think i'll go for the ladies princess cut jeans.. but i'll have to try them first to see of they are suitable for me.. unfortunately i have a flat butt and sometimes jeans make them look unflattery..

then over to heeren to look at a skirt a had been eyeing over at collage for some time.. it's a really light whitish blue with abit of dark blue at the end.. holes all over.. and the zip goes all the way to the top.. no belt loops or anything.. ended up buying it and 3 more of those 3 for $40 tank tops i've always been buying.. it has always been my aim to get those tops in all the different colours.. altogether i've got 9 of them now.. kiasu huh..? =X i've got hot pink, red, orange, bright yellow, green, dark green, blue, purple and white.. not exactly every tone of the different colours.. but almost every main colour.. no need to be scared of not having a colour to wear.. =p what i lack of now is black and brown.. =X

then i went over to cineleisure after that.. got a bikini there from mameemo.. black with small pink flower prints..

yup.. so those are my spoils of war.. i walked around ps abit before taking the NEL home.. then later at night i met clemmie to go to mustafa to get some toiletries we needed for the trip.. we bought shampoo.. conditioner.. body wash.. plasters.. insect repellent.. panadol.. a torchlight.. antiseptic cream.. batteries.. and i got a pack of biscuits for my own personal consumption.. =X and OMG.. MUSTAFA IS DAMN BLOODY BIG.. SO MANY THINGS TO SEE AND BUY..!! and it's so NEAR to SERANGOON.. ( duh~ i know it's in upper serangoon.. i'm referring to s'goon central ) there are so many snacks and chocolates and biscuits and sweets to choose from.. one fine day i must drag my dad there and buy up tonnes of snacks.. i'll never have to buy snacks for a whole year.. woohoo~*

after that we headed over to chomp chomp coz clemmie wanted to eat.. he had some lemon chicken fried rice which looked really good.. i want to try that next time..!! =X i wanted to eat my favourite egg beancurd jelly.. my they had run out of beancurd so i had to make do with grass jelly and sea coconut.. boo.. =(

after that it was home sweet home and down to packing..

dear says we will go eat prata and head over to mustafa next weekend.. yay..!! can't wait.. banana pratas and ice-cream pratas here i come..!! *drools* =)

okay.. time to sleep.. gotta get up in a FEW hours time.. bye people.. don't miss me while i'm away okay.. i promise to come back with lots of details and tonnes of photos.. muahahahhahahahhahhahahhahaha~* so long guys..

i'm gonna miss you alot.. *muacks*