i never could handle "the case of the ex" very well..

it has always bugged me.. from relationship to the next..

i don't know.. maybe it's just some insecurity i have of myself..

especially since the incident with mr ho..

there was once.. he was going to go out with his ex to catch a movie.. and he didn't want to tell me at all.. when i asked who he was going out with.. he tried to avoid the question.. but he eventually let it out.. and the sad thing was not that he was going out with his ex.. but the fact that he was trying to hide it from me.. that makes it so much worse.. i was damn upset at the time..

i mean.. if you are going to meet your ex-gf.. just say so.. why all the hush-hush and secrecy.. that gives us more ground to get suspicious and think that something fishy is going on..

so from then on.. whenever the topic of the ex came about.. i'd get all insecure and jealous.. it's just my natural reaction to..

i know.. i'm overeacting and getting all upset over nothing.. but which girl would be totally cool with their beaus meeting up with the ex..?? especially if they're still on good terms.. of course it'll bug you even if just the least bit right..?? it's not that you don't trust your guy.. because you know that he loves you so much that he wouldn't do anything to hurt you.. BUT.. i am only human and i have feelings too.. and i am the kind who let emotions get to them first before logic.. -_-"

guys always say.. "don't think so much.. we're just friends.. there's no more feelings.. nothing to worry about.."

but sometimes u really can't help it.. coz he did feel something for this person once before..

this is so like me.. to get all insecure over a stupid thing like this.. arghz.. i hate it when i irritate myself like this.. stupid brain.. can't concentrate as well while studying but when thinking about such trivial stuff it goes into overdrive..

looks like i'm going to have to admit it.. yes.. i do get jealous at times.. there.. i've said it.. =X

to cheer myself up.. i must think along the lines of..

• i trust him..
• that was all in the past.. and i am the present..
• i am worrying too much..
• maybe i'm hungry that's why i'm feeling moody..
• stupid period..
• many girls react this way too.. this is NORMAL.. right?? =X
• my feeling this way shows that i care.. if i didn't care then that would be a problem..
• there is no competition at all.. *bhb* wahahahahhaa..

okay.. now i feel better after getting it off my chest.. so i do have a lil green eyed monster inside of me.. and i get paranoid at times.. so sue me..

insecure thoughts.. i will not let you bother me.. shoo shoo.. go away..