[this post was actually created on monday the 8th of jan but my internet connection went all emo on me and i couldn't connect to the net by the time i was done with the post so i eventually saved it as a word document.. and it is only now that i have the time to post it.. =X]

i am suddenly feeling very stressed..

earlier on my dad knocked on my door..
and he asked if i had decided what i wanted to do after poly..
whether do i want to work first.. or do i want to study..
then he reminded me that i have this 2-year student grant thingy..
so for the next 2 years i EITHER have to study OR to work full time..
i can't choose to just slack all the way til i feel like going back to studying..
all because i am not a singaporean..
boo.. =(

so after some talking he told me i'd better go research on what i want to do..
so i did just that..
mdis.. smu.. nus.. sim..
then that's when it hit me..
what if i can't get into any good school..??

these are my options..

1) i can go to mdis and take a degree in hospitality and resport management (what i should have done in poly), business (what i am doing in poly now) or mass communications (what i had wanted to do in poly)..

but.. is the certs from there actually recognized..?? this is what dad is worried about..

2) go to either nus (joyceh is there..!! =D ), sim (you can almost definately get in even if your results suck.. as long as you have the moolah) or smu (the bf is going there BUT i think i have no chance in hell of getting in since their standards are that darn high) and take a degree in business (yawns!) or mass communications (no experience in it whatsoever)..

but.. what if neither of them (with the exception of sim) refuse to take me in because of my sucky poly results..
and thinking about studying business and having to do accounts and econs again simply sucks..
what's more i do not have mass com background so maybe i can't get into the course..

*starts to freak out*

and i do not even know the requirements for all the courses..
might end up discouraged when i do get to know them.. =S
*shrugs*

at the moment i'm kinda pinning my hopes on private uni..
doubt my mediocore results can get me into any local uni..
=(
i hate planning for the future..
especially when you don't know where it'll bring you..

shall stop depressing myself right now..

okay.. today was a pretty fun day..
had fabm tutorial followed by trmk lecture (fell asleep like 3 times during lecture =X)
then me and wins headed over to holland v for coffeebean lunch..
weather was freaking hot lar..
had a malibu dream and caesar salad with chicken..
salad was humungo.. couldn't finish it..
explored the shops at holland v.. quite a number of interesting shops..
even got myself a cute little 2007 animal diary.. =D

headed back to school for napfa test..

sit ups - A
shuttle run - C
sit and reach - B
standing broad jump - C
incline pull up - C
2.4km run - E

like wtf..!!??
i could have gotton gold.. cos anything C and above is counted gold..
but my damn 2.4km run..
missed a C by like 1min and 20 secs..
damn wasted la..!!
i so regret not training for it.. =(

oh wells..
on the bright side..
i'm proud of myself that despite not running for eons..
i managed to do the 2.4 without stopping to walk.. =D
not bad la rite..? =X
kept pushing and pushing myself..
telling myself not to stop and get tempted to walk..
hearing the guy counting our laps telling me "number 10.. run to lane 7 & 8 to the finish line..!!" was like music to my ears.. =P
fucking tired after that.. i swear my legs were almost like jelly when i was walking down the stairs..

after napfa test me and wins headed over to vivo city for dessert..
went to gloria jean's.. which ended up being a pretty big mistake..
the cakes and stuff looked good..
but they sure didn't taste good..
what a waste of money la..
should have gone elsewhere.. -_-"

window shopped abit..
tried to look for leggings in forever 21 and pull & bear but could not find anything nice..
went to daiso and pet safari too..
then it was la senza..
and we got underwear..!! =D
wahahahahahahhahahahaa...
i got myself a bunch of g-strings.. heh heh =X
they're all really cute and colourful..
then it was home sweet home..

gonna go sleep already..
SIA talk in school tomorrow (to become a singapore girl) with kristie and then movies and shopping after that.. =D
nights people..